Listlessness vs. Purpose

One blessing about being a teacher is that I have a sense of vocational calling every day. I never feel a lack of purpose in my job. One problem that arises from this, however, is that my sense of purpose can become an overwhelming burden: There are too many students who need a quality relationship with an adult; there are too many students who are failing my class; there are too many students whom I am not challenging enough academically; there are too many colleagues that need encouragement; there are too many lesson plans that I need to improve. The problem with this mentality is that I become the center of everyone's world. The reality is that I cannot possibly meet all of the needs I encounter each day, and I need to be ok with that.

Another aspect of the immense purpose I feel through teaching is that while I am on vacations from school I begin to feel listless and purposeless. The summer is especially bad--I actually begin to feel unproductive, guilty, and a little worthless as a result of being away from school. Certainly this is not healthy, but it gives me insight into the lives of people, like the 40+ year-old professional athlete riddled with arthritis, who just cannot give up their careers even when they should have long ago.

Part of me thinks that I need to cultivate a more comprehensive sense of purpose--one that is not situationally dependent. It seems like my purpose shouldn't wax and wane with the school year, that it should be independent of any environment in which I find myself. While that sounds good, I can't help but think that it might be a bit simplistic and it becomes problematic if we take that thinking to extremes: Should I feel purposeful if I work to make handguns for a firearm company? Should I feel a sense of purpose if I work to make money for a company that exploits workers or the environment in the developing world? Should I feel a sense of purpose if I am a CIA assassin?

Perhaps the reality is that there is a feedback loop between purpose and vocation. Each informs the other; each challenges the other; each molds the other.

Provision

I have two close teacher friends who are both looking to leave the teaching profession because they cannot financially provide for their families. One of them wrote the following to me in a recent email:

"I am thinking about leaving the profession...I am not providing for my family and it is increasingly expensive as [my kids] get older...This month has been really hard...I hope that we can figure something out. My debt keeps growing and I am not keeping up with my bills. It sucks that I can't do what I want to [teach] because of money."

This makes me very sad, because this friend is a phenomenal teacher. I also know a single mom with three children who teaches elementary school in my school system. If she were to apply, her children would qualify for federal free/reduced school lunch.

While salaries are low for beginning teachers, it often doesn't seem so bad because most new teachers are young, single and just glad to be drawing a salary after getting out of school. And besides, when you are 22, many of your friends aren't earning much more money than you are. Even so, many new teachers struggle to even pay rent and make car payments. The problem appears to become more severe as teachers enter mid-career: a teacher with a master's degree in North Carolina earns $40,130 after EIGHT years of experience; after TWENTY-FOUR years of experience (16 years later), that same teacher still earns less than $50,000 ($49,970). That's an annual average increase in salary of $615 or 1.4%. Inflation averages 3.0% , which means that these teachers actually have less money each year for those 16 years.

The reality is that good, qualified, passionate teachers leave teaching because these salaries don't provide their families with the financial security they want. As a society, I don't think we can complain about teacher quality when the salary schedules discourge qualified people from staying in (or joining) the profession.

Playing Left-Field

Today we were talking about gold mining for a little while in my classes. The students had just read an article about the environmental and health impact of a mining technique called "heap leaching."

When I asked my 7th period class, "So what is this thing called 'heap leaching?" the first student to respond answered that "heap leaching is when someone covers their entire body with leeches."

What is My Class Really Like?: A Study in Relativism

Student 1, Yesterday:
"Are we just taking notes today? All you do is lecture!"

Student 2, Today:
"Are we doing another lab today. We are always doing labs in here!"

Student 1 and Student 2 are both taking the same class with me.

Wow

As a teacher at an arts-focused school, I get asked all the time by my students if I am going to attend their such-and-such concert. Guitar concert, percussion concert, dance concert, band concert, choir concert, play, musical, etc. Since we also have sports like any other school, I also get asked if I am going to attend their such-and-such game. Basketball game, soccer game, baseball game, volleyball game, swim meet, softball game, etc.

I am usually up for one big event or game per semester. I realize that's not a lot, but it can be difficult to go home after a long day of teaching and then find the energy to return to school an hour or so later to interact again with students and their parents. But tonight was the night.

Tonight I attended the Winter Dance Concert at my school. It was simply amazing. Students who are timid and lack confidence in my class were bold, powerful and graceful on the stage. Students who struggled mightily to pass my class had choreographed and performed entire numbers. The music was pulsing; the movements were fluid; the timing was impeccable; the performers were inspiring--and they were just teenagers.

Tonight is why I love my job.

Confronted With My Own Humanity

There is no doubt that teaching forces me to confront my own humanity almost every day. Yesterday, in fact, I snapped at a student who was annoying me, and then felt terrible about it until the next morning.

What makes these incidents so disappointing for me is that I try very carefully to "manage" my life in order to be in tip-top shape while teaching--so that I don't screw up and snap at students who annoy me. I make sure that I get enough sleep, eat well, and prepare dilligently for each class. I do these things carefully and intentionally so that I will be as well-rested, patient, and refreshed as possible as I face the demands of my 115 students each day. I place great importance on my relationships with students and work hard to cultivate those relationships through genuine and consistent interest in their lives. However, no matter how well I try to arrange my life to optimize myself for the classroom, there are always times when I can't escape the limitations of my own humanity--my pride will prevent me from admitting I'm wrong in front of a class; I'll be short-tempered with a kid; I'll neglect a struggling student; I'll stress out about an obnoxious parent; or I'll let my feelings (and pride) be hurt by criticism of my teaching.

The good news, however, is that it can be a gift to be faced with my own shortcomings on a daily basis. It ensures that I don't live in a dream-world in which I'm the star. It keeps me humble. It causes me to feel deeply--to hurt, to seek help, to pray, and to have hope. These are great things and I'm thankful to be in a profession which prompts me to experience them.

A Sign of Our Times

I was sitting in a parent-teacher conference the other day. This was a conference in which the student, his parents, the guidance counselor, and ALL of the student's academic teachers were present. Here are the common themes with this student: he has done absolutely no work inside or outside of class, never brings paper or pencil or notebook to class, has an excuse for everything, and has been consistently lying to his parents about his performance.

What was his parents' response upon hearing this report from all of his teachers?

"We need to get him tested (for special education placement)!"

The Teaching "Profession", Part II

Is teaching a Real Profession?... my second post on this subject.

Another reason why teaching may not be considered a Real Profession by its critics is due to the fact that the profession lacks rigorous standards that prevent entry or that weed-out those who should not be teachers. There are no multi-day board or bar examinations (as in medicine and law), no tooth-drilling practicum (as in dentistry), and no inquisition by a denomination (as with clergy).

To be honest, this critique may be a legitimate criticism. In order for me to become a public school teacher I had to:

• complete a portfolio for my master's program, which took some significant time for reflection and writing. However, could I have put less time and energy into the portfolio and still gotten my license? I'll never know, but I don't think anyone in my program failed to get the stamp of approval from the graduate school or the state because their portfolio was substandard.
• student-teach for several weeks. This was probably the most important part of my training, but it only lasted about 10 weeks.
• take a two-part, four-hour exam called the Praxis. I didn't have to study at all for this exam. I think that some high school students whom I currently teach could have passed it. Let's just say, it wasn't exactly rigorous.

I'm not saying that the sum of these things was trivial, but I don't think that it is a process that really selects those who will make capable teachers from those who won't.

The funny thing is that the public is constantly clamouring for higher standards for teachers. "We need to make sure these teachers are qualified," they say in the public sphere. Here's the problem: you can't raise the bar for teachers without also increasing the incentives. Durham Public Schools, for example, still needed to fill dozens of teaching positions several of weeks after the start of school. This shortage is not due to the fact that the standards are too high; on the contrary, there just aren't enough teachers who want to teach in Durham. We must give people greater incentives to join the ranks of teachers or we must content ourselves with what we currently have.

Its fine with me if the hoop-jumping that disguises itself as "high standards for teachers" becomes instead legitimate and rigorous standards for teachers. Raise the standards for teachers; make rigorous teaching examinations; require year-long teaching apprenticeships, create genuine and helpful systems for teacher accountability. However, with increased standards there must be a commensurate increase in incentives. Otherwise, we should just get used to the phrase "lack of qualified teachers."

The Teaching "Profession", Part I

Is teaching a Profession?

My knee-jerk reaction is to say, "Of course it is." I have an advanced degree. I am salaried, not paid by the hour. I wear a coat, tie and fancy shoes to work each day...oh wait, no I don't. I wear khakis, a polo shirt and flip-flops as long as the weather allows. So upon deeper examination, this question is not so easily answered. This will be the first of a series of posts in which I consider the Teaching Profession.

We will begin by considering a reason why teaching might not be considered a Real Profession. The (usually anti-public-education) nay-sayers will claim that teaching is not a profession because Anyone Can Do It (i.e., it's not that difficult). I think that some of these people believe that since they Went Through School, that they Know How To Teach School. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to point out the idiocy of this logic. Just because I sat through a concert of the San Francisco Symphony, doesn't mean that I can conduct an orchestra; simply going to a Duke basketball game doesn't make me Coach K.

Elementary school teachers, in particular, endure the ire of these critics, because the nay-sayers imagine how easy it must be to teach the simplistic elementary school curriculum. Anyone Can Teach That Stuff, they scoff to themselves as they drive home from back-to-school night. In high school, the calculus and physics teachers probably are on safer ground than the freshman English teacher. Still, Almost Anyone Can Teach That Stuff.

What the critics seem to miss, is that content is only part of what a teacher must know. First and foremost, teachers must understand and enjoy being with kids. That fact ensures that Not Everyone Can Teach. Second, Teaching is not simply Content Dissemination. It is the art of getting students to buy into, to embrace and to learn what you are teaching. While 3rd grade math itself might not be intellectually taxing, I would wager that Getting 3rd Graders To Learn Math (not to mention Love Math) is a whole 'nother kettle of fish. Further, I would wager that this kettle of fish--something that is termed pedagogy in eduspeak--is one that not just anyone could accomplish.

These are the questions that teachers must wrestle with: What is the best way to teach a particular concept? How will you know if students have learned it? How will you get students to learn it rather than memorize it? What will you do with students who don't learn it? What will you do students who have already learned it? What are the common misconceptions that students must overcome to learn it? How is this concept connected to the Real World, Etc., etc., etc. These are not easy questions and answering them is certainly not something that Anyone Can Do.

More on this topic to come...

Brownie Points

Today one of my friends at school (a fellow teacher) brought in brownies for the winners of a class competition. What was the first comment from one of the winners? Was it "thanks for baking us brownies in your spare time"? Was it "Wow, these brownies are great"? Was it, "I know you don't make much money but we appreciate that you spent a few bucks on brownie mix for us"?

No.

The comment of the first student to get a brownie was, "These are too dry."

That's just great. Really, really great.

What can I do?

15 minutes into class a student (who is currently failing) asks, "Does anyone have a pencil I can borrow?"

It seems to me that learning earth science is secondary to learning to bring a writing utensil to class.

(Malatov) Cocktail Dress

Three weekends ago a couple of students unsuccessfully tried to burn down our school building. The following weekend they tried again and were caught by police. What brings students to the point where they want to destroy an institution that supposedly exists for their benefit? This seems to be an extreme example of what teachers see almost every day: that students--the very people for whom we become teachers--view us as the enemy. Is the student-teacher relationship necessarily adversarial? One would hope not, but I think most of us can also remember times during adolescence when we viewed our parents as adversaries. So perhaps that adversarial mindset is an organic part of an adult-teenager relationship in which there is a power dynamic.

The teacher's time paradox

There is a paradox in teaching that I would guess most teachers are aware of: short weeks are actually long weeks. A two-day week, like the upcoming week of Thanksgiving, is longer and more draining than a "normal" five-day week. There are many reasons for this paradox, including increased hyperactivity of the students, the teacher's anticipation of having a few days off, and of course, the added busyness of preparing for a holiday.

There is one more wrinkle to this paradox. Although a short week is more tiring than a "normal" five-day week, a five-day week that follows a short week is the most draining week of all. This is because the teacher has lost his endurance during the course of the long weekend. Knowing this, we can derive a simple equation where a "normal" five-day week equals x, a short week equals y, and a five day week following a break equals z.

z = 2y = 3x

Any questions?